I’m actually not encouraging trans women to allow themselves to be taken advantage of. I absolutely think every trans woman should watch out for herself and not cater to anything that makes them uncomfortable and defend themselves if necessary. I’m not saying, “oh yeah, you should totally go out and get taken advantage of by some creep who wants a woman with a dick”. No. What I’m saying is that regardless of our identities, we do not have any control over what other people think of us. This includes fetishes and fetishizing behaviors. Me telling you that you have no control over someone having a fetish over you is not even close to the same as me saying that you should definitely go let a “chaser” take advantage of you.

What I think a really fantastic message to send to trans women is, is: stop judging other women/men for “fetishizing” you. You cannot control people’s thoughts just because you want to. Live your life, protect yourself, stop hoping and praying that one day “chasers” won’t exist. Stop rallying for support to make chasers go away. They won’t go away simply because you said they should. In fact, investing so much energy in wanting them to go away is probably just attracting them to you, but that’s another conversation entirely.

But more than any of this: stop whining and bitching in my ask box about what some other anon said who was curious as to where he/she/they/ze could meet some trans women.

-Elle